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2002-02-24 - 10:03 p.m. Dear Lord, channel 56 is enough to drive anyone to drink. Channel 56 on my tv is TBN (Trinity Broadcast Network) - the craziest stuff on tv might just possibly have come to life on this channel. Where else can you watch ex-football guys break board for Christ?!!! "I shall take my rod and breaketh it over my knee!!" That, and the owners of the station, some guy and Jan, his wife of eighty, maybe ninety years, who still insists on dying her hair pink. Yes, pink. Wellllll... Yesterday we bought a car!! A brand-spanking new PT Cruiser. I think it's truly a love or hate sort of car. Luckily for the two of us, we both LOVE it!! Fully decked out, as well. Leather interior with suede accents, funky inlaid dashboard, moonroof, regular amenities like a cd player, power locks and windows, cruise control, etc. We just drove around yesterday in the beautiful weather (of course, today it had to start snowing - it IS Minnesota, ya' know?). Today was also church day. All morning, all afternoon. Some guy in the conference I was at was such a buttcrumb. To preface this story... I am on the Staff Parish Relations Committee. This means me, the minister, and four other people meet once monthly to discuss personnel sorts of things that relate to the staff and parish and minister. We decide if people (esp employees) are behaving correctly, their pay stuff, the sexual harassment sorts of policies and issues the church has, etc. Today I was at a conference to learn how to do most of this stuff. We got to the part about determining how much our minister should earn. There is a pay scale made up by the National Headquarters (or whatever they call themselves) that gives minimum salaries to ministers based solely on how many years they have been out of seminary. This goes up a little each year (4.4%, to be exact, based solely on projected cost-of-living increases). There is a pension plan and housing allowances (unless the church has a parish) and some continuing ed stuff, etc. Normal sorts of things. Some guy has the nerve to say, "So we just give them a raise every year, whether or not they are doing a good job, basically just for showing up? I wish I had a job that would do that." Ass. Number one, a minister in the UMC has to graduate from a four year program and then spend three years at seminary and then be a peon for a year or so before even getting their own church. They have to jump through a million hoops and then get hired on for - get this - $25,000/year. If they work 21 years or more their pay has made it up to a whoppin' $33,000. How's that for having to love the Lord to do your job? Then this buttcheek has the nerve to criticize. They make squat. Number two, if your job doesn't offer you at least a cost-of-living increase, you are getting a demotion or you need a new job. Don't take that out on your minister. If you nickel and dime them, they are likely to say, "Gee, it's' Wednesday and I've already put in my forty hours. Even though you're dying in the hospital, Mr. Buttcrumb, I think you'll have to wait until next week's forty before I can get to you." At least, if I was a pastor I'd want to say that. Fortunately for the people in this guy's church their pastor is likely much nicer (it's kind of a job requisite). The other thing that just got on my nerves about this guy was the whiny way he complained about having to spend any money. His church is obviously doing ok because they paid all their apportionments (the money each church pays to the general conference) and was able to send several people to today's conference. We had to spend $5 for a folder thing (that was very well put together, might I add) and then if we wanted the supplement we had to spend another $2.50. Mr. Complainy-pants had to whine loudly to the district superintendent. Hey, buddy, it's one less lunch at McDonald's this week, handle it like a man!! Mr. Christian all the way!! Well, enough belly aching from this end. It otherwise was a really, really good weekend. Again, I LOVE our new car. Until later.
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