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2003-12-11 - 2:18 p.m. Whew, I haven't written in a while. Primarily because I was very upset and unable to get it together enough to post something. I'm a lot better now and able to bore you to tears some more with the ongoing saga of my eggs and Scott's little soldiers. Apparently there's barely enough to form a reconnaisance mission so his urologist called up and said - IVF (in vitro fertilization, aka test tube baby), donor sperm or adoption. Yikes. I burst into tears, much to my husband's chagrin. I just was a bit overwhelmed. I started thinking about surgery (laparoscopy to retrieve eggs) and hormones (of which you've already gotten a bad taste of) versus the gigantic task of preparing my house for an adoption Home Study (yes, it feels like a capital letter sort of thing). So, overwhelmed, I did what all good women do, I had a good cry. Moped around with my parents over the Thanksgiving weekend and came home more fired up to clean and organize and learn some things. One thing I learned - I must must must lose some more weight. I am not in the BMI needed to perform anesthesia in a clinical setting - hence, I will be starving myself and exercising in the months to come. Blech. No more putzing around, I guess. Second, no laparoscopy - instead, under sedation, ultrasound guided needles (I know, to you that sounds just as bad, but really, it isn't). Third, if they can retrieve my eggs and I have enough, they don't have to do it again, just freeze and store them and then, I don't know, pop them in the microwave or something and use 'em later. I also did a lot of homework on adoption. In talking with my husband, we will be looking into foreign and domestic models, newer, with good upholstery (just kidding, we want a baby and it doesn't matter to us what ethnicity he/she is). We'll start getting our house ready and probably begin home study stuff just to keep the ball rolling. Both of us are in agreement that we would love any baby. I have said this all along, and it therefore surprised me how much I wanted to have OUR baby if I could. It wouldn't change how much I loved any baby that comes to our house, so I don't know why I want to be pregnant and have a child that is mine and Scott's, but some part of me deep down just does. Well, like I said, enough of this. I must get back to work (blech) and then I have an ornament exchange party tonight at K'Lo's house (yeah). Until later.
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