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2004-02-24 - 9:04 a.m.

Putting entries into this diary is going almost as well as not putting food in my mouth - a rare and much-to-be-treasured experience. Oh, well. You win some and you lose some.

Cliches aside, I guess I haven't been putting much down here because it's too depressing, the things that I would write about. I used to think that I would put more in here during times of stress and when I needed an outlet to vent frustrations, but really I add entries more when I'm laid back and happy (doesn't say much for the past few months, does it?).

I have a confession to make (nothing to melodramatic - I'm a good little Methodist from Minnesota, for cryin' out loud). I am having a real hard time from being bitter towards all who have kids. I can hardly stand to see kids and it wears on me to be nice to their parents, smile at the little buggers and laugh when their parents tell me "cute" stories about them. I am sad and bitter right now, esp with my sister's loss and with my own problems with having them, and it affects my life in ways I had not expected. I don't want to hang out with certain friends anymore, and I don't want to go out and do things I used to. I am not depressed, per se (and you know I just wanted to use the phrase "per se"), but I definitely have a harder time getting excited to do the stuff I used to. Tell me folks, is this growing up, cuz if it is, I must announce, in the immortal words of Peter Pan, "I don't wanna".

On better notes, I thought I was going to owe a shitload of money to the IRS again this year, and that nearly reduced me to tears in between fits of apoplexy (where else could I get to use this phrase???). I went to a friend of a friend who is working at H and R Block and he earned every last living penny when he actually got me a refund. I like to pride myself on my ability to follow instructions, so you would think following along a little tax form should be relatively straightforward. Yep, straight forward and off that cliff, young lady, is where you will find all the things you've been lookin' for.

I hate my job. Ok, I know you all have heard this rant before, but I truly do hate the public. They (as an entity, of course, there are many exceptions on a one-on-one basis) are ignorant, belligerent, stingy and just plain irritating. The rest of life stuff doesn't help my perception of them, either. It corrodes my patience and makes me want to say things like "Oh, you think nine years old is old for a little dog, well, it's not and you're just stupid and making piss poor excuses so you can justify your inadequate care of a creature you assumed responsibility for the minute it came into your home. Nice job, butt cheeks, you win the award for most caring pet owner this week". Whew, needed to get that off my chest, eh?

Ok, speaking of work, I must head off to the ol' grindstone and plaster on the fake, caring face that the world sees. Yikes, don't think all vets are this way - I am the exception to the rule for the most part - the very, very cynical and sometimes bitter exception, but the exception none-the-less.

Until later.

 

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