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2003-04-08 - 8:58 a.m. You would think, after twelve days, that I would have a lot to write about. We'll see. I'll just update and as I go along, I may think of some things to add... I went to the doctor again last Thursday. I got the correct blood pressure meds to satisfy both ob/gyn and gp. Now, keep your fingers crossed that it works so that I will be healthy, wealthy and wise (ok, at least that I won't have a stroke with noone around to help me brush my hair - see Legends of the Fall if you don't know this reference). The wealth is obviously being saved for the big day next week (and hugungous check I must make out to the IRS). It seems as though I am just waiting, day by day, for these things to happen, so I kind of shut down in other modes and that includes this site. Sorry, all. Which leads to the third part of the statement - not wise to leave behind things that keep us grounded, like this diary. On a good note, I have kept up with my offline journal of weightlessness (aka, WW journaling). I filled the first journal and am now writing in the beautiful journal that Kitchen Logic made for me. It should last into August (hint, hint) and I hope to keep up the losing streak. Last week, not so good. This week, not a lot better, but I must keep on chuggin'. I am at that stage of weight loss where your chest gets smaller but your stomach is the same (then the stomach will go and the chest looks normal size again). I hate this stage - I look unbalanced. Also, my pants are too big but I don't want to pull out the smaller ones because I'm pretty sure I'm still inbetween sizes and I'm really not up for the disappointment of trying on things that are still too small. Ok, enough about that. It's depressing. Speaking of depressing, my boss is an idiot. I like the guy, but thank the good Lord he only goes to conferences about once a year. He is carrying a pager for one of the clinics to "field phone calls" at night, instead of letting people call the e-clinic first. He thinks Dr. S and I should do the same (every other week) for the other clinic. Real emergencies will still be shuttled off to the e-clinic, but things like vaccine reactions, bleeding toenails, etc, can be handled over the phone by you-know-who. Although I held my tongue when this was brought up at the doctor meeting last Friday, inside I was sighing huge sad sighs, along with a few "calm down now" sighs. I absolutely hate this idea. You are saying to yourself, "Cestelle, it's only a couple weeks a month, only a few phone calls a month, how bad can it be? As a pet owner, I would love it if I could call up my vet and ask if I really need to go to the e-clinic or not. I would save a lot of time, anguish and money if I knew that things were going to be ok until morning." I keep telling myself these sentences, because a huge part of me is yelling, "HALF of your life (make that about 3/4) is attached to the clinic!" I am terrible about saying no, so when people ask if I could just meet them at the clinic ("No, I don't care if you have to charge an emergency fee, I just feel better going to my own clinic") I will likely do it. Folks, this is so going to suck. I HATE being attached to a beeper. I spent a year of my life on call every other day and every other weekend. I left Target one day to euthanize a pet; I have been called in the middle of the night to answer a nurse's questions on what type of suture material SHE could use to sew up her dog - and yes, I did see the dog a couple of days later to repair the shitty job she did and clean up the raging infection the dog had; I have answered 3 AM questions about how to stop toenails bleeding - WHY are you cutting your dog's toenails at three AM?!!! You see, I have played this game and I moved to a big city as much for e-clinics as anything else. I need to get knocked up, and fast - pregnant women are allowed all sorts of leeway that others aren't. I don't want to dump a lot on my other doc, though, because she'll leave the practice and then where will I be? Aaagh. What it really boils down to is the need to do something else. When money is a little less tight, I think I'll look into some online courses and see what's out there. For all you thinking to go into veterinary medicine, think LONG and HARD about it - it is truly not even close to all it's made out to be. Word of warning, yo! Ok, enough about work. The rest of work is so-so. I hate spring break, because all the moms and dads bring in the animals with the kids. An exam room is way too small for this, although a lot of times the kids just crack me up. Especially when the visit is about diarrhea or vomiting or such, since you just have to talk about clinical signs and you must take a temp, which never fails to gross kids out. Oh, well, they must learn sometime. I get grossed out when parents say, "That's how you used to get your temp taken, honey." Ew. Well, I must be off to work. I guess I did have enough to talk about today. Sorry about the rants, although I guess that's what this thing is for. Go say hi to Lorisor, her hubby is pending some big tests and she should have a few cyberhugs today. Until later.
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