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2003-11-05 - 4:54 p.m. Ok, another entry. I am still doing infertility stuff, and it still is kinda humming along. I am up and down in moods, but pretty even keel this week. We found out that Scott's counts are low, so he got to go to the urologist on Monday. Woo-hoo! He had a great time! Ok, so he didn't, but a little entertainment was provided by the questionnaire. We enjoyed the question, "Are you and your spouse related?" about the most, followed closely by Scott's pronunciation of the word meatus (should be pronounced mee-ay-tus but he likes to say mee-tus) and then make rude comments about it being beat-us (as in, give another sample, dear). Yeah, now you know way too much about us, sorry. I know too much about one of my clients. Last week I was examining a cat that may have eaten some hair scrunchies and I had to take her temperature. For those of you who can't figure it out, we do that rectally on kitties and doggies. So, the cat has a bit of a sore tail and cries when I am examining her, and cries again when I insert the thermometer. Then her owner says, "Don't worry, kitty, I remember the first time I had anal sex". Aaaaaghhhhh! I can't plug my ears because my hands are busy. She then goes on to say things about boys liking it tight. Aaaaaaaghhhh!! Please stop, please stop, please stop... The mental images are not pretty, folks. It was just a weird day overall. I started the day with a young man who was wanting his cat spayed. I went in, examined the cat and asked him where he got her. When will I learn not to make small talk (when hell freezes over, since some days that provides the only excitement at the ol' office)? He got the cat because he works for an assisted living place and an old "colored" woman died and the place asked if he and his roomate would take the cat. He must have said the word "colored" about eight times. At eight in the morning, before I have had coffee, I just don't have the gumption to retrain his little brain. He then went on to say that the cat had been under the couch for three days, hiding, until his roommate and he figured the cat was afraid of white people. They went on the internet to an ebonics site and learned to say some things to the cat and lo! and behold! she came out from under the couch. That must be it (not like the cat was scared of a new home with two young men when she was used to only one quiet old woman). Friday kept on going - a woman came in and was talking about the herd of ducks in her yard (she liked them there because it keeps the messy geese away - like ducks don't poop, too?) and what to feed them. We told her to call the DNR or wildlife care clinic. She kept on talking about the ducks and suddenly started talking like Donald Duck to us - and quacking away. Then she asked us if we quacked. Ok, I must admit, at this point I started laughing (while admitting that, no, I do not quack like a duck). She quacked some more and then told us how she likes to take her himalayan out in a shopping bag and head to Bloomingdale's - noone is the wiser because her kitty is quiet and never pokes her head out of the bag. Keep that in mind when you start your Christmas shopping and look at all those bags out there... Ok, my husband will be getting home soon. I had better wrap this up and make some dinner. I am so happy - root veggies (my parents were here this weekend and brought some home-grown turnips) and a turkey ham. Healthy and tasty - yum! Until later.
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